What Followers Want in a Leader

In the end, what I am looking for as a follower, is very simple. I want to enjoy dancing to the music with another person who is fully present. Someone who shows respect for me as a follower, the other dancers on the floor and the music. 

I want a comfortable embrace. An invitation to move, not an instruction. A sense of the music. A sense of care. Not complex patterns. Sometimes, if it’s done well enough, walking is enough. I want to leave the floor thinking, for the last few moments, I've shared something valuable and all the hard work on technique has been worth it. I want to leave the floor with a smile.

I think we all have a sixth sense, an ability to tell pretty much instantly if someone we are dancing with is actually present, engaging with us or whether they are lost in their head thinking about the last lesson where they learnt that new move or the one they saw online and want to try

out. Leading is quite exposing and I guess its tempting for leaders to think they can cover their own insecurity by impressing us with the range of steps they’ve learned. It never works.

Of course we have our own part to play in the success of a tanda. 

We have to look after our posture/axis; try to be open; to dance the step we are taking and not worry about what’s coming next, to value the skills we have learned as a participant in the dance. That’s why the moment of accepting a dance and meeting in the embrace is so important. It’s a moment to bring yourself there. To be aware of your whole body. And breathe! Sometimes things will go a bit off piste but that’s ok… it's not a competition, we dance to have a good time.

Recently we did a straw poll among our own dancers asking what they valued in a leader. The results can be summed up by “I want to dance with a leader not be danced by them” (Emma). Here are some of their other thoughts:

• generosity of spirit, open mind, respect. Mirjam

• I prefer a leader who spends time respecting the partner they have - connecting with me, rather than immediately worrying about moves. I want to dance with someone rather than be danced by them.  I think it’s good when a leader shows respect for the kind of embrace you prefer. I also appreciate when a leader doesn’t worry about mistakes or unexpected results during a dance but just continues to enjoy the dance.  Emma

• I much prefer a leader who waits for a follower to finish a move and not be too hasty for the next

• I love leaders who play with the music and who really listens to the music. Smile please. Maggie

• A lead with a clear positive request who feels present. Who waits for me to arrive. Rosamund

Back sacadas can be fun but nobody was asking for them when we asked!.

A memorable tanda

It’s not virtuosity or complex vocabulary you remember after a good dance. Years ago I was visiting Zurich as part of my job… I had my tango shoes of course and I had done my research… On the final evening I went to a crowded bar where tango music was playing…I knew no-one there.

A guy asked me to dance. I don’t speak Swiss German, he didn’t speak English. But we met and he was fully present with me and the music and we danced. It was playful and quite different. It was mostly little shifts of weight, double times, changes of direction, I wasn’t  aware of anyone or anything but the music and dancing. I didn’t have to say sorry once! Afterwards I noticed he was wearing thick working boots! It didn’t seem to matter. He had adapted his dance to work in them and with me! I don’t remember a single flashy move. But 20 years later I remember the dance.

Kate